I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things going on in this country right now, but I have to be honest: Most times I don’t want to share them with you.
It’s not that I don’t think you are worthy of my ramblings – you are. I love each and every one of you.
Well, most of you.
The thing is lately I just don’t feel comfortable letting my thoughts escape my mind via my fingers and a keyboard. I’ve felt this way for a while now. At first I thought it was just writer’s block or spring fever or my new obsession with watching my stocks turn red day in and day out, but recently I’ve come to realize that it’s more than that.
I have this overwhelming fear that I’m going to write something that is going to get me fired. Touching on any number of subjects that are currently dominating the 24-hour a day news cycle in any sort of honest way could end my career quick if what I write is interpreted poorly.
You can’t throw a rock nowadays without hitting somebody who is easily offended or so blinded by their political allegiances that they can’t be reasoned with and on top of that, we are well on our way toward living out the premise of the movie Idiocracy.
Although, at least President Camacho seemed to know where he was most of the time.
Let’s face it, we live in dumb times filled with a lot of dumb people who have somehow managed to reach the top the influence peak by yelling louder, crying louder, and posting about it all on the internet.
For me, as a columnist who likes to comment on current events, including some controversial topics, it is now nearly impossible to mount an argument about anything without re-reading what I have written and second-guessing myself because the tiniest slip up could spell the end. Write. Delete. Write. Delete. Rinse and repeat. It takes me three times as long to write a column now than it did even six months ago.
I just don’t want to step on a land mine and blow up my gig.
It actually might be time to admit I’m losing the cancel battle and the dark side is winning. I honestly didn’t see that coming but the outrage mob (yes, I stole that from Fox News) has nearly managed to shut me down.
I guess at the end of the day I like a steady paycheck more than I like the idea of being drummed out of existence by some rabid hater bent on destroying my life based on his or her disagreeing with something I write.
That probably makes me a sell-out of some sort but so be it. I’ll just write about things that don’t normally make waves: Like cats, or gardening, or the libraries of the Iron Range. Maybe I’ll rip off Paul Harvey and do a weekly ‘the rest of the story’ feature where I share innocent tales of Iron Rangers from days gone by.
If working class heroes like Bruce Springsteen can sell the rights to their music to sell some Jeeps, then I don’t see why I can’t pump out some weekly fluff pieces to grab a little green for myself.
Of course, there are a few glaring differences between me and Springsteen. He has sold millions of records and has even more millions of dollars in the bank, while I break out in a cold sweat if my family has to buy groceries before pay day.
Maybe my mistake is caring about a job well done or even worrying about earning a living. It seems to me that I might be better off just calling it a career. If the federal government is going to send out monthly payments for doing nothing based on how many kids a person has than I might as well stop working altogether, particularly if the income cut-off for such payments is located under such a low hurdle.
Under the terms of the Joe Biden $1.9 trillion manifesto his puppet masters drew up and signed a few weeks ago, I, like the subject of the great (and horribly offensive by today’s standards) Dire Straits song, would then get “money for nothing, and my chicks for free.”
That ain’t working, that’s the way you do it.
But instead of playing guitar on the MTV, I’ll just play Call of Duty on the Xbox One and wait for my once-a-month bonus to arrive.
Show me the money.
And with a growing number of Democrats calling on Biden to send recurring stimulus checks for low-income Americans as part of his infrastructure package, there is even less incentive for me to sit in front of my computer each week and pump out a thousand words about this, that and the other thing.